The Hilarious Trumpet Blooper (and Other Funny Things) Archive
(Updated a very long time ago.)
Hello. I quit playing trumpet about 10 years ago after about a 25 year career. I'm not trying to make fun of anyone here. I'm just glad that I no longer have to worry about having stuff like this happen to me every day. Someone just sent me the Hummel blooper which reminded me that I had a few others that always cracked me up.

After hearing them again after many years, I'm pleased to say, they still crack me up; so here they are for your amusement.

This is the famous piccolo trumpet duet at the end of a performance of Petrushka. It comes from an actual performance of the full ballet at Symphony Space in New York City.

Short Version (.mp3 632k)

Long Version (.mp3 3210k) ("In greater context, even more shocking and powerful"... N.Y. Times)


Here's the famous try for the high E-flat in the Haydn. Still trying to figure out how to notate this after about 10 years. Recital recording.

Haydn.mp3 (753k)


You have to relate to the nightmare of ending your cadenza with nothing but air and an uncontrolled lip spasm.

Cadenza.mp3 (1158k)


A new one of the opening of the Hummel Concerto. Supposedly showed up as a pre-audition tape for the Boston Symphony.

Hummel.mp3 (832k)


I was playing a pops concert in a big basketball stadium. We were sitting behind a couple local horn players. Things got so funny that the second trpt. player brought a tape recorder so that we could capture what was forcing us to decide between doing our jobs and cracking up. We used to call these guys 'The Cack Brothers'.

Borodin Polovetsian Dances.mp3 (3494k)


Those cornet solos sure are hard. While most of us have probably been there, let's see what happens when you're not quite ready.

Shores of the Mighty Pacific.mp3 (867k)


After I left high school I went to a small college as a geophysics student. As the trumpet bug bit, I was privileged to attend this concert. A canon by Orlando Gibbons. These guys weren't prepared. Your nightmare becomes a reality as you lose your place. You can't fake a canon. I love the parallel 4ths. Two minutes of sheer hell that must have felt like an hour to these two poor guys.

Gibbons Fantasia.mp3 (3494k)


Here's a nice crash and burn with Mahler 7:

Mahler7.mp3 (170k)


Let's see what happens if you kill off the whole half rack before your premier performance of Pictures:

Pictures.mp3 (276k)


OK, this is pretty funny. I seem to remember Pete Barbuti appearing on Johnny Carson when I was a kid.

Barbuti.rm (485k)


Finally, near the end of my playing career, I was playing a show (On Your Toes, I think) with one of my good buddies and some old guy who (so they say) was in the Mafia. One night, I told him that he was playing the following lick wrong every night. He didn't handle it very well. He called me a punk. "You're always a punk! (I was playing on a C-trumpet.) "Why don't you get with the program and play on a B-flat!." Basically, he wanted to kick my ass even though he was 8 inches shorter than I was. As any good buddy would do, my friend saw what was happening and walked away. Fortunately, no fight, but a classic encounter nonetheless.

Rudy Baby (876k)


Most musicians have heard the famous "Queen of the Night" aria by Florence Foster Jenkins. Here it is in case you missed it. Pretty hysterical.

Florence (1610k)


There's this group called the Portsmouth Symphonia. I think they swap instruments or something. This rendidion of Zarathustra is pretty brutal.

Also Sprach (355k)


I'm not exactly sure what the hell this is, but it's certainly very festive even though the holiday season is over.

Trumpet Christmas (2220k)


Here's the Vivaldi Trumpet Duo. I thought it was in C Major. One guy thinks it's in C#.

Vivaldi(2620k)


A non-music one that will certainly make you laugh out loud.

Fox Hat (371k)


Another non-music screamer containing 'mature content'.

Yes.rm (6890k)


This one sounds pretty real. Named as found.

MessiahOrganistOnCrack.mp3 (6829k)


More non-music... Here's some classic shit. A classic 'grand salami' call by the Seattle Mariners' Dean of Play-by-Play, Dave Niehaus. The Mariners were on an early season blitz. Since it was against the Yankees, even better. Mike Cameron went on to hit almost 5 home runs in a game against Chicago shortly after this afternoon game. Unfortunately, he then decided to give up on hitting. While a great center fielder and solid human being, he's no longer with us. Still, he exhibited a huge amount of class while coming in to replace Ken Griffey. Sorry to see him go. Good luck Cammy.

I won a lottery to go to the opening game at the half-a-billion-dollar Safeco Field in Seattle. Niehaus was voted by the fans to throw out the first pitch. He cried.

What a cool guy he is, and this is an one example of why we love baseball in Seattle. (Sign me up for dying of a heart attack while nailing my job, just as Dave is going to do.)

Niehaus.mp3 (2890k)


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